GentlemanBob
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Bob Goes Gaga
Gentlemanbob rushes to download Lady Gaga's new album.  Is he a fan you ask?  He's a fan of anything for 99 cents.  


Suicide Brownies
Gentlemanbob woke up to the sweet smell of brownies. In a shorter period of time then light could travel from the bedroom to the kitchen his instinct surpasses willpower and he launches an assault on them. Little did he know they were "special" brownies. They were on a suicide mission in which they partially succeeded. Their kind is free from the evil Gentlemanbob dictator for at least 12 hours.



Chinese Keyboards.
Gentlemanbob is not a fan of overseas cheap labor.

Balancing Act
Gentlemanbob has fallen and he can't get up (again with video).
Gentlemanbob wakes up to the fire.

Fun with the Fax
Fax machine: $195
100 foot cable $15
Digital Voice Recorder: $32
Hiding the recorder in Gentlemanbob's room after you unplugged the line and router while he tries to send his first fax: Priceless



Kitchen Floor
After what is an abnormally labor intensive day for Gentlemanbob spending an hour cleaning his kitchen floor with help from his son he shortly after spills charcoal all over it.  Gentlemanbob's mood after it happens -- well done.  

Stolen Toolbox

Gentlemanbob blames his son's friend for stealing his $13 used K-Mart toolbox. He calls 15 minutes later after he finds it where he last left it.  The police were not amused.  


Double Payment
Gentlemanbob makes a double payment on his credit card.  Not the first time it's happened, and unfortunately Gentlemanbob has no intentions on investing in a gadget called Quicken to help him better manage his finances.
  

The Bluray Blues.  
Gentlemanbob gets a case of the bluray blues after he breaks his new dvd player.  

Juniper Card
Gentlemanbob once again applies his payment to the wrong credit card and is unable to cancel.  

Firefox The Sequel
Once again Gentlemanbob and Firefox don't see eye to eye.  In fact it's hard to look someone in the eye when it just spins and spins.

Home Warranty
Gentlemanbob struggles to get service from the home warranty company he uses to fix his stove.  Maybe he didn't consider there isn't a human operator at 3:35 am.  But he's a team player, so he'll get the survey out of the way now.  

JEA Round Two
Gentlemanbob gets another surprise from the JEA fairy, and it wasn't a dollar under his pillow.  

Broke Down 2
Gentlemanbob has another bad experience on an otherwise nice Sunday Drive.  

Car Scratch Fever
Gentlemanbob finds his car all scratched up.  Certainly it doesn't have anything to do with the cats that use it as a jungle gym/litter box.  

No A/C
The A/C went out today at the Gentlemanbob residence.  Gentlemanbob promptly called to leave a voicemail of the situation at hand, however one voicemail wasn't good enough.  To truly express his discomfort he choose to leave three as a satisfactory solution to express his pain.  


Attack of the Toilet Seat
Gentlemanbob has to an altercation with his toilet seat during a late night session on the can.  

JEA
Gentlemanbob gets an unwelcome price hike by his local utility company.  

Jimmie the Cat says "Fuck Yo Couch"
In a Rick James style attack, Jimmie the Cat says fuck your couch (heard below) and launches a ground attack
on Gentlemanbobs couch.  Although she doesn't stop there, the dingle berry queen prances over to the Gentleman's resting habitat
while he is out, and swings her monster size dingleberries like a barbarian hoisting his flail. 
It's not a pretty site, and while Jimmie the Cat may of won this battle, the consequence for capture have risen drastically 
as operation Craigslits has turned into kamikazie pound.  In the mean time this war continues to wage.


Fuck Yo Bed too.

Screen Doors
Gentlemanbob has trouble returning some recently ordered screen doors.  

Broke Down.
The Battery goes dead on Gentlemanbob's car.  

Smart Mail
Gentlemanbob orders a new TV from Ebay, and it's shipped via extra cheap Smart Mail.  One voicemail wasn't enough here.

Gentlemanbob Cat Sits 
It's the face off of two mammals, however that's where these two opponents similarities end.  Their battle plan just as different as their species.  In this battle Jimmie the Cat buries itself deep into Gentlemanbob's empire to drop biological bombs, while Gentlemanbob can only get a scent of the damage.


Trillian Deux
Gentlemanbob has another go round with his international communication messenger system Trillian.  Remember when your living the high flying, quick bidding, coupon clipping lifestyle communication is at the heart of the operation.  
Chase
Gentlemanbob has his first run in with the ever tightening credit markets.  We need someone like Gentlemanbob to head financial reform, someone that can tell it like its.
  
Shower head
Gentlemanbob has a bad experience with a shower head and escalates it to shower head technical support. They had the nerve to take a lunch before his shower head was fixed.

Rebates
Now I think we all know how much a pain in the ass mail in Rebates can be, and some stores have even taken on to this and only issue instant rebates.  Unfortunately Disney doesn't share in that belief so Gentlemanbob is going to put his two cents in on it.
Sandals on Plastic Mat's
So let this go out as a warning message to everyone it's extremely dangerous to mix those plastic floor mats you place over carpet with sandals and/or slippers.  It might not help if you're over 300 lbs either, but with almost certainty the first two variables are the most important here.  Unfortunately nobody was able to give this warning to Gentlemanbob ahead of time, and he had to find out the hard way on a routine trip to the bathroom in between a bidding session.  
Firefox Shuts Down
Bidding is a lifestyle, and Firefox loves to hate.  

Kodak Printa
Gentlemanbob has another go round with his Kodak printer.


Daily Deal
Bob loses his flavor wave and needs a new cooking utensil.  Unfortunately Pro Bidding Bob misses out on a Daily Deal for a George Foreman Grill.

COMCAST
Gentlemanbob makes the move to Comcast.  His current provider just spins, and spins, and spins.

BAD DAY
So I'll give this one to Bob as it is a pretty shitty day (literally and figuratively), and maybe a little bit of bitching is due.  Imagine waking up and you go outside to your car and you find your USB that has all your music and you lost a few days ago.  Awesome right?  Not so fast, it's stuck underneath the car seat where your football with jumbo shrimp hands can't reach to get it out.  Also while attempting to get it out you smell something foul, almost like dog shit but it's a little sharper and smells like it came from a creature that is a little more devious CAT SHIT!  Then to top it all off, on a high volume online coupon day like Tuesday your internet goes out!  For the ordinary man to understand just how horrible that is to Gentlemanbob it's like turning into Brad Pitt for a day with a two hour stay at the Playboy Mansion and all the Bunnies are on Ectasy but they cut off your dick before you go!  That's not bitter sweet, it's just plain bitter sour.  Cheer up Bob, there is only one way for things to go when you hit rock bottom.

VISTA
So I think it's safe to say we all have had a personal Vendetta with Windows Vista at some point or another.  But you see, Bob has a special beef with Vista.  Bob loves technology, but isn't the most savvy and doesn't understand running 75 background applications can easily crash most operating systems let alone Vista.  It's not an option for Bob to go without a computer, so when his most recent one retired he needed a new one from DELL now.  This new computer came equipped with Windows Vista.  At roughly 3:45am that night this message ensued.
 
Pro Bidder
So GentlemanBob enjoys nice material things, as we most do.  But more importantly he enjoys nice things at the right price.  It's this drive, that led him to become a professional bidder.  And while he may ultimately end up getting everything he wants he knows when to back away when the price isn't right and fight the battle another time.  This is one of those times, I mean they didn't even post their bidding names.  Come on guys, play fair!

Fat Fingers
So you might wonder why GentlemanBob leaves these long voicemails when there are much more convenient ways of communicating.  Specifically a text message, but when your 5'8" and weigh roughly 300 lbs you might picture hands looking like a Pro Football with five Jumbo Shrimps attached to it.  This makes a rather convenient method of communication difficult as you fat finger one key after the next.  So please sympathize with GentlmanBob as you take a listen. 
Trillian
Being part time retired and a part time professional bidder, but has contacts and resources all around the world.  He's a strong believer in communication, and when you have contacts all over the world using different applications to communicate so Bob uses a central application called Trillian which allows him to combine all these.  Shortly after Gen Bob got his new computer he was facing some difficulty getting Trillian set back up.
After an intense Bidding war in which GentlemanBob came out victorious, blistered hands from a coupon clip off, and just a whole lot of bitching the night before we see a more relaxed state of GentlemanBob. 

Printheads
Now I consider myself a pretty smart guy, but I don't fuck with printers and faxes.  I'm not sure what it is about them, but I like my chances with quantum mechanics better.  Again this is probably another experience many of us have struggled through, and I got to say GentlemanBob kept his cool (relatively speaking) for the situation at hand.  Please kick back, and take a listen to the late night voicemail I call "printheads."
UPS
This is shortly after Bob had ordered his new Verizon Blitz cell phone.  The call didn't come in till around 12:30am as it was really his alter-ego Gentlemanbob who was very rushed to have his new weapon of mass destruction in stress relief.  The phone eventually came the next day, but not before one last night of furry with Gentlemanbob and his Razor.  You served him well Razor, but Gentlemanbob needed a full keyboard to really fuck up those text messages he never could send.
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